Oh $#!t, that's a four letter word

Once upon a time a girl said “Well, I won’t say no” and then the adventures began. I have a tendency to do first think later. Sometimes this goes really good, and sometime, well it’s more of a lesson
learned. Lucky for me, fun isn’t a four-letter word. However, F*#k, S#!t, Like and [the infamous] Love are Four four-letter words that leave my mouth all too often. Fortunately I’ve learned to control my
sailors mouth around locals in Namibia, but get me with Americans and I’m back at sea.
See, there’s something about finding out which four-letter word leaves my mouth first, or even last that excites me. I’ve never been good at playing it safe; I’m still not. I like the risk. The risk of the next
moment being the very best moment of my life… and then it ends… and another best moment of my life happens. This past year has been one “best moment of my life” after the other. There’s also been a few “Oh s#it” moments too.  One thing I notice about it all though… I use the
L word a lot more than I ever use to.

    Lets get up close and personal. On my back I have a tattoo of some question marks that shape a heart. It was one of the first tattoos I got when I was 18 almost 10 years ago. People often ask me what it means and it’s with out thought that I tell them “Because I’m a
hopeless romantic, but I question the concept of love and if it exists or if it’s just a manipulative”.  Love… the leader of four-letter words all around the world. Love has taken a new turn for me though. I’m still a hopeless romantic, and each day I face falling more in love, this time with life.

     I Love that this is my life. 6 months in and yes some days desperately call for an ice cold Savanna, but even on those days I love what is happening around me. I love that the learners are starting to feel comfortable enough to come to me and tell me what they would like to happen at school, they should take ownership of it.  It made me feel warm and fuzzy when a learner walked up to me to edit the peom she wrote just for fun. It was good! I told

her to show it off but she said its private. Yet, she trusted me. I love when the grade 0 kids start screaming out “Jamie” “Tena” “Jamie” and wave as if it was the first time we met, or ages since we’ve seen each other last EVERY SINGLE DAY.  Language barriers stop me from even having a full conversation with these little ones, yet somehow there’s
a bond. I’m in love with every moment I spend by the river, just watching the water go.  Every time I watch the sunset here love takes another toll. I’m happy for the nights that turned into new days. The
acquaintances that turned into friends. The strangers who have become my family.

And yes maybe some things can
lead to another four letter word: getting hurt. But I’ll that’s worth it too, I dive into the risks head on.One thing this past year has taught me is I’m not afraid to be a
four-letter word, and that’s bold. I don’t fit a category, and I never will. I’ll always be bit punk rock with a splash of that south side Chicago G. I’ll be emo and a hippie. My New Mexican side, well I couldn't hide if I tried. I still have a habit of signing in ASL when I mean to verbally talk sometimes. I’ll tell you to go away while holding onto you leg to ask you to stay. I’ll act big and tough, but 99% of the things that happen in my life I’ll run to tell my mom, dad,and baby sister.  As much as I think I’m getting a tan I’m probably still one of the whitest looking Latinas to be. I’ll say (most) things before thinking… same with my actions. I’m not afraid to do something, just because I want to. Why the hell not? Life is also a four-letter
word. I’ve become infinite, and so has life. I finally learned my favorite four letter word and that’s live. What life for if its not
meant to be lived. I can’t coast on by, after all walking gets too boring once you learn how to fly.